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Family Talk Blog

The New Year

Dr. Paul | December 28, 2015 |
 
2016 New Year garland banner.

Once again, it’s that time of year. On New Year’s Eve, when the clock strikes midnight, a new year is born. When I wake up on Friday morning, was I reborn? Sadly, I am still a somewhat paunchy (although I have great muscle definition underneath all of that fat!), balding, middle-aged guy, with a bunch of good and bad habits. Despite, 2015’s good intentions, I haven’t changed much this last year.

Sigh…

New Year’s resolutions have fallen out of favor, largely because most adults fail miserably at keeping them. Newly acquired treadmills, stair steppers, and rowing machines... Read More

May your holiday be filled with love, connection, and kindness

Dr. Paul | December 24, 2015 | 2 comments
 
Happy holidays surrounded by evergreens.

As we say goodbye to 2015 and greet this New Year, it’s a good time to count our blessings and be grateful for whatever goodness has come our way this year. Tonight and tomorrow, many of us will be celebrating Christmas with loved ones. It’s not about the presents we give or receive. It’s all about love, our connection with each other, and the kindness that we bring to our friends, family, co-workers, and community.

One and all, have a happy holiday. And thank you for reading Family Talk and sharing it with your community. I am grateful for all the support and kindness that I... Read More

Are you an overachiever?

Dr. Paul | December 21, 2015 |
 
Photo of woman pushing back.

Mary is a high functioning, highly competent school principal who is always running at 500 miles per hour. She has three young children of her own too! Balancing the demands of running a school, getting her kids to their after school activities, and trying to get a healthy meal on the table is a constant juggling act. Lately, though, it seems like she is feeling more tired, emotional, and ragged by the end of each day.

Mary’s challenge—she feels that she has to live up to everyone’s expectations! She always says yes to every request. When she can’t, she feels disappointed in herself... Read More

Taking stress out of the holidays

Dr. Paul | December 17, 2015 | 2 comments
 
Family gathered around festive holiday table.

The holidays—with all its joys, excitement, and let’s face it, stress.

Added stress is a normal part of the holiday season. In a well known life events stress test, 12 points are added to your score if it’s the holidays!

Television commercials show happy families sitting around a roaring fire, encircled by affluence. Cheerful music plays in all the stores. Christmas lights brighten the streets (a nice thing in the dark Northwest!). Yet the holidays are not all cheer and tinsel.

The arrival of Christmas, Kwanza and Hanukkah do not automatically bring happiness. Current... Read More

Social Media: The Blessing and the Curse

Dr. Paul | December 14, 2015 | 7 comments
 
Woman using mobile device.

Facebook, in addition to other social media sites, has become the meeting ground for friends, acquaintances, and co-workers to gather. Worldwide, 1.5 billion kids and adults, hang out on Facebook’s corner.  It’s mindboggling!

There are many upsides to this digital den—keeping up with family pictures, news from friends and relatives, or sharing recent adventures. It’s a way of communicating life’s changes, big and little, with scores, or even hundreds of people, with one picture or message. I love to see new photographs of my grandnieces and nephews! Watching videos of their first... Read More

Happiness

Dr. Paul | December 10, 2015 |
 
Photo of a happy family and grandparents.

I am fortunate. I am basically a happy person. Ask my mother and she will tell you…I was also a happy baby.

Everyone wants to be happy. Sometimes it seems to be the purpose of life—the pursuit of happiness.  All human beings want happiness and the causes of happiness. So, let’s take a look at some of the research (take a look at Sonja Lyubomirsky’s book “The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting... Read More

The holidays: Sweet & Salty

Dr. Paul | December 07, 2015 | 5 comments
 
Photo of woman contemplating holiday season.

The other day I was walking in the early morning, watching the Eastern sky grow luminescent. The rising sun is the harbinger of something fresh and new.  For me, the perfect day is watching the sunrise and the sunset. It brings me closer to nature, the world around me, and reminds me to be in the here and now.

But it also made me feel sad. Two years ago, during the holidays, my mother had a heart attack, that several months later, brought her to the end of her life. During the weeks that I spent by her side, I observed many Florida sunrises from her balcony. On those days, I watched... Read More

Is it okay to love yourself?

Dr. Paul | November 30, 2015 | 1 comment
 
Photo of woman having alone time.

I sat with a group of adults the other night discussing the concept of self-love. “What does it mean to love yourself?” I asked. Most of the individuals were uncomfortable with the idea. “Isn’t it selfish to love yourself?” Josie wondered. Bill recalled this his mother was self-centered and self-absorbed. She demanded a great deal from others. “I don’t want to be like her!” he remarked.

Yet, it was effortless for each person to consider what loving others mean. The verbs flew across the room onto the white board—acceptance, respect, compassion, forgiveness, kindness, concern, non-... Read More

Working Parents

Dr. Paul | November 23, 2015 |
 
Photo of father and child.

In the 21st century, parents are more committed to sharing housework and childcare than ever before. It’s a positive trend for many good reasons. According to the U.S. labor department, in 2014, over 60% of married men and women with children had both parents in the work force. Two working parents don’t have much time left over to do all the things that have to be done everyday.

However, this change in attitude has not translated into real equality when it comes to mopping floors, changing diapers, grocery shopping and all of the other tasks of every day life. Men disagree! When... Read More

Defeating Self-Defeating Behavior: Coping with Distress

Dr. Paul | November 19, 2015 |
 
Photo of child dealing with emotions.

Have you ever wondered why you did something that seemed to be at cross purposes with your goals? You want to be fit, but you can’t seem to get to the gym. You want to lose weight, but sometimes you seem to eat everything in sight. You want to cut back on your drinking, but you find yourself drinking more. You vow not to lose your temper, but despite your oath, you pop your cork at your youngster? You pledge to do things right away, but you find yourself procrastinating.  You promise yourself to do something new, but you are stuck in a rut.
Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. The... Read More

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