Family Talk Blog

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Welcome 2017

Dr. Paul | December 28, 2016 | 1 comment

The turning of the calendar invites reflection about the previous year and contemplation about the year to come. If taken seriously, this is a healthy tradition. It’s useful to look back and reflect on experiences, challenges, successes, and disappointments. What happened in 2016 that was important? What did I do last year that made me feel good about myself? Where did I miss the mark? Was I the person I wanted to be? What were my aspirations for last year? How did I do?

This reflective process, spanning the earth’s circumnavigation of the sun, helps us consider where we are on... Read More

Reflections from a new senior citizen: It’s all about love

Dr. Paul | December 21, 2016 | 4 comments

This December is a big month for me. Last weekend, Diane and I celebrated our 39th wedding anniversary and our 43-year relationship. On December 26th, I will turn 65 and officially become a senior citizen. These milestones are great opportunities to consider—what have I learned over these 65 years of life? What have I learned over 39 years of marriage?

I have to admit (trust me, my wife agrees!) that I’m a slow learner. It takes me a long time to really understand stuff. But once I get it, it sticks.

Here is some of what I’ve learned over the years Cultivate gratitude.

I get... Read More

Coping with loss during the holiday

Dr. Paul | December 14, 2016 | 3 comments

Like many others, my holidays are tinged with sad memories. When I was 13, my beloved grandmother who lived with us, died suddenly of a heart attack two weeks before my birthday, which happens to fall on December 26th. That year, both my birthday, and the holiday was touched with sadness and loss. When I was 28, my brother was killed by a drunk driver. The last time I saw him was over the Christmas holiday. Just three years ago, my mother had a heart attack during our yearly holiday gathering that brought her to the end of her life two months later.

These personal losses are not so... Read More

Brothers and sisters

Dr. Paul | December 07, 2016 | 2 comments

Brothers and sisters have a unique relationship, unlike any other ones in life. We choose our friends and partners, but we are stuck with our siblings—like them or not! We grow up with them, and they grow up with us. We can have a close relationship with them, no relationship at all, and everything in between.

I think every parent dreams that their children will have a loving relationship. I was very fortunate, my brother and I were very connected growing up and we have retained that closeness as adults, despite being very different. And, my two daughters, who live in the same city... Read More

Single parents deserve our admiration

Dr. Paul | November 30, 2016 | 1 comment

Single Moms and Dads have a rough go, especially over the holidays. Working full time to make ends meets, giving kids the attention they need and deserve, keeping the fridge stocked, nutritious meals on the table (at least some of the time), staying ahead of the laundry, and keeping work demands at bay is exhausting. I have great admiration for single parents that are the custodial parents—they can and do leap tall buildings in a single bound—every day!

While I admire these amazing, capable and competent parents, I also know they have their share of suffering too. Sometimes they try... Read More

Getting ready for the holidays

Dr. Paul | November 23, 2016 | 3 comments

Family and friends around holiday table.

How did the end of November arrive so quickly? As I get older, time passes quickly. I blink—and it’s a month later!

The holiday season can be a mixed bag for many families. On the one hand, many of us enjoy our holiday rituals and getting together with family and friends. These rituals can bring back warm childhood memories that we can share today with our own families. But then, it can be stressful too. What if this holiday doesn’t live up to our expectations? What if we can’t afford to buy the gifts we would like to give? What if we’re alone? It can be a sweet or sad time, or both... Read More

A New President

Dr. Paul | November 14, 2016 | 7 comments

The pollsters mined reams of data before last week’s election—they hoped to predict who would be the next President. In this 21st century, we rely on science and technology to provide us with answers. We carry computers (aka smartphones) in our pants pockets that provide us with instant information about every aspect of our lives and the world around us. Yet, last week’s election results just go to show you—we don’t always know what people will do.

Free will reigns.

I happened to be in London, eating breakfast in a pub, on the day when Great Britain’s Brexit vote was tallied... Read More

Fall & Winter Blues

Dr. Paul | November 09, 2016 | 1 comment

Finally!—it is lighter in the morning, but unfortunately, darker in the afternoon. No one needs a reminder that we have entered into that dark (and wet) time of year.

More than twenty years ago, my family and I moved to the Northwest. We arrived on a cold, gray day in July! Welcome to Washington. Back in Massachusetts, it was 85 degrees and sunny! But I loved the long days here—with the western sky lit until 10 p.m. (when the sun finally did come out!). At first, it was hard for my young kids to get to bed on time because it was still light outside.

But as autumn set in and... Read More

Doing the right thing, no matter what.

Dr. Paul | November 02, 2016 | 4 comments

Couple having argument with child in room. being wrong, being right

I’m glad I’m not a politician. Especially this year, when political candidates for President are applying the well-worn principle of “plausible deniability”. If you’re caught doing something wrong or make a misstep--- try to wriggle out of it and hope for the best. Most average Americans see right through this nonsense. What’s wrong with admitting you made a mistake? What’s right about acknowledging when you’re wrong?

Joe felt justified in raising his voice when his wife criticized his lack of follow through. Her volume was going up—she was mad at him. He felt that she was always... Read More

A letter to new Dads

Dr. Paul | October 26, 2016 | 5 comments

Becoming a parent was one of the highlights of my life. Diane and I had two children but might have had three if we had started earlier. We loved the whole experience and enjoyed every stage. Well, maybe not the whole teenage thing, that wasn’t so much fun. But overall, it’s been a great journey.

Now I’m on the eve of grandparenthood! Woo hoo! Both of my daughters are pregnant and are having daughters in 2017. I wanted to welcome one of my son-in-law’s into the New Dad’s club. So I sent him a book for expectant Dads with the following letter. I wanted to share it with new fathers... Read More

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