Family Talk Blog

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Look ahead to 2018, but look back first.

Dr. Paul | December 27, 2017 |

2018 is upon us—it’s time to look ahead to the New Year. But first, let’s look in the rearview mirror. What were the highlights of 2017? Did you have goals or intentions for this last year? If you did, how did you do? Did you make progress in those areas that you wanted to nurture?

It’s easy to look back with a critical eye. I fell short in a couple of areas. I wanted to change several of my less than desirable eating habits—eating too quickly, eating more than I needed, and grazing after 8 p.m. I started out with strong motivation, but as the year progressed, I returned to my... Read More

Parenthood isn’t the easier job

Dr. Paul | December 20, 2017 |

Very few of us have formal education in parenting. Our main instruction came from the universal course called “Watching our parents 201”. Our parents, in turn, completed their parental training titled—“Watching their parents 101”. Parental strengths and shortcomings pass from generation to generation. Given our lack of family education and support, it’s amazing we do so well!

Today’s moms and dads rely on the internet, which is replete with blogs, advice, and bulletin boards, where parents can learn from the experts and post their unique experiences. It can be overwhelming. Google “... Read More

Lessons from 40 years of marriage

Dr. Paul | December 13, 2017 |

On December 18th, Diane and I will have been married for 40 years! Wow! Where did all that time go? It seems like a lifetime ago that we got married in her parent’s living room, surrounded by family and friends. It was a small, inexpensive wedding by today’s standards. But everyone was as happy and as celebratory as they are at today’s bigger ceremonies.

As I reflect back on these forty years, I have learned a few important lessons that I’d like to share with you. As my wife would agree, I am a slow learner and I can be very stubborn! So anything I do figure out takes me a long time... Read More

Coping with holiday loss

Dr. Paul | December 06, 2017 |

On these gray winter mornings, I like to walk around Green Lake and watch the sun rise. This time of year, I think about my mom’s brief illness and death four years ago, which quickly followed Christmas. It was both a sad and sweet time. I was able to help take care of her and comfort her during her final weeks. On my early morning walks I find myself recalling those last mornings, watching the sun rise from her Florida terrace, listening to the sounds of tropical birds, wondering if each day would be her last. I think about her often.

I miss her terribly.

While the holiday... Read More

Recipe for a joyful holiday

Dr. Paul | November 29, 2017 |

Three children make a mess in the kitchen.

I can always tell when the holidays are around the corner—drivers start to take out all of the slack! Gone are the polite Northwesterner’s who always let someone into their lane. Beware of those four-way stops! It’s everyone for themselves!

For many adults, the holidays are a mixture of sweet, sad, and stressful moments. Here’s my recipe for a rewarding holiday season for yourself and your loved ones.

The Stressful

Family obligations, what to get Uncle Bill this year, not enough money, kid’s constant demands, holiday cards, need to have this be the best Christmas ever, family... Read More

Experiencing stillness, wonder, and grace

Dr. Paul | November 22, 2017 |

Beginning your day with relaxing coffee.

Our lives are so crazy busy, like a stream roaring down a mountain in the Spring. Our days overflow with work, school, kid stuff, laundry, cooking, cleaning—and everything else. Somehow, our time-saving technology has turned into a time-sucking pastime. Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email, apps, texting—they steal our minutes like a thief in the night.

This busyness can become addicting. We don’t know what to do with ourselves when we have nothing to do. We’ve lost our ability to enjoy doing nothing—just staring out the window watching the grass grow. Or listening to the birds sing... Read More

Maintaining balance amid change

Boe | November 15, 2017 |

Everything changes. Every day our kids grow older. Companies enlarge, shrink, and become something else. Relationships develop or die. Our bodies age. New technology replaces old gadgets. Intellectually we know—Don’t get too comfortable with the status quo. But when something changes that we value, we’re angry. Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? We react. And unless it’s something that we wanted---not too well.

Our bodies change too. In my case, it’s not for the better. When I look in the mirror I think—“That guy looks just like me, but older!”. Despite... Read More

Sexual harassment and the danger of silence

Boe | November 08, 2017 |

Man touching a womans leg while sitting.

As a psychologist and a father, I’ve been heartened by women coming forward and telling their stories of sexual harassment. I remember well, in 1991, the hearings to confirm Clarence Thomas as a Supreme Court justice. Anita Hill courageously came forward with her stories of Thomas’s inappropriate behavior. It was a clarifying moment for many women. Several of my close friends revealed their accounts of being groped, propositioned, or manipulated by men in power. It was liberating for women to bring these experiences out of the closet into the light of day.

It’s sad that 26 years... Read More

Older adult alcohol abuse, a growing problem

Dr. Paul | November 01, 2017 |

I sat in on an office visit with an internist several years ago. I wanted to explore opportunities for helping primary care providers better identify patients with mental health and substance abuse concerns. His patient, in his mid 70’s, indicated that he had two Martinis every night. I asked him if he ever had more than two—he paused, laughed and said, “Sure, who doesn’t?”

Alcohol abuse is a growing problem for older adults. According to public health surveys, older adult alcohol use disorders (the new name for alcohol abuse) are on the rise. There may be a variety of causes for... Read More

Turn on the lights!

Dr. Paul | October 25, 2017 |

When I moved to the Northwest 25 years ago, I was surprised by the short winter days. It got dark so early! I was ready for rain (after all, isn’t Seattle the rain capital of the Northwest?), but I was unprepared for the long dark nights that start in the late afternoon.

I found myself feeling groggy in the morning. I didn’t feel down, but it took me a long time to really wake up. I’m an early riser and waking up in a dark room was tough. I just didn’t want to get out of bed. And when I did, it took me a long time to get myself in gear. I guess someone like me invented the quadruple... Read More

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