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Parenting

It’s all about showing up

Dr. Paul | September 08, 2020 |
 

When I lived in Massachusetts, my good friend Bill would drive across the state to visit. He would always bring his tools with him so that he could help me with my various house projects. He would cheerfully help me repair whatever was broken — or I should say, I would assist him, since I have no idea how to fix anything.

When my wife passed out at the gym while I was out of town, my friend Patti showed up to help. She spent 24 hours keeping an eye on her while I flew home. And when my daughter crossed the finish line after running a marathon, my friend Tracy was there to help.... Read More

Staying connected during a pandemic

Dr. Paul | May 05, 2020 |
 

Social distancing and stay at home orders can make it easy to feel disconnected from the people most important to us. Staying connected with friends and loved ones is critical to our well-being, whether you’re a social butterfly or an introvert. Although the pandemic has changed the way we interact and connect with others, there’s proactive steps we can take to keep from feeling isolated.

Q: I’m feeling really disconnected from my family. What can I do to stay connected?

Last weekend my daughters and grandchildren held a video dance party. My son-in-law in New York played... Read More

Helping families cope with a pandemic

Dr. Paul | April 07, 2020 |
 

The COVID-19 pandemic is impacting all areas of our lives and presenting new challenges for families everywhere. School cancellations, orders to stay home, and working remotely are forcing everyone to quickly adapt to the “new normal.” It’s important we address family issues and challenges, including stress and anxiety caused by the pandemic. Let’s look at ways to help families get through these trying times.

Q: My teenage daughter, Sarah, has shut herself in her room most of the day. I’m really worried about her. What should I do?

The COVID-19 crisis has disrupted the lives... Read More

Coping with the stress of the COVID-19 outbreak

Dr. Paul | March 12, 2020 |
 

I was at the supermarket this weekend and noticed that the store was filled with more shoppers and that many of the shelves were empty. I could feel the tension in the air, as people were preparing for the worst. Anxiety and fear can spread even more quickly than an infectious disease.

It’s completely normal to experience increased stress during an infectious disease outbreak. Listening to the news, reading the newspaper, and noticing how the world around you is reacting will likely intensify normal apprehension. Our brains have a strong bias towards perceiving potential threat. We... Read More

The art of not asking toddlers open-ended questions

Dr. Paul | March 09, 2020 |
 

Several weeks ago, my wife and I were able to help our daughter when she was delivering her new baby boy. I took care of our 3-year-old granddaughter when my daughter went into labor. My wife attended the birth. On January 31st, Simon, at over 9 pounds and 23 inches came into the world—no doubt, at that size, a future linebacker for the Seattle Seahawks!

I got to spend a lot of time with my 3-year-old granddaughter and observe her family’s interactions with her. Toddlers are the coolest creatures around. They are curious about everything— “Grandpa, why can’t I go to the hospital to... Read More

Importance of secure attachment with children

Dr. Paul | January 27, 2020 |
 

Joe’s kids and grandkids came for a visit over the Christmas holiday. He and his wife couldn't help but notice that his daughter and son-in-law seemed to hover over their children’s every need. “Just take one bite of your dinner and then you can have your dessert,” his daughter pleaded with her 3-year-old daughter Sarah. They lay in bed with Sarah until she fell asleep. They ran up to her room if they heard a little whimper.

This style of parenting is certainly different than how Joe and his wife raised their kids. Joe wondered--“What’s going on? Is this a new parenting approach?... Read More

Start the New Year with a family meeting

Dr. Paul | December 30, 2019 |
 

In the New year, kids start a new term in school. It’s a great time to reflect on autumn’s activities.

How was family life? How did the kids do in school? What about homework and housework? Were there moments of pause and peace? What were the big and small wins for each family member? What do you wish had gone differently?

Kids and parents start every school year with high hopes. John pledges he won’t procrastinate completing math homework. Sarah promises she will keep her room neat and clean. Bill vows that he will get to school on time. Children are the ultimate optimists.... Read More

Learning the meaning of real wealth

Dr. Paul | October 18, 2019 |
 

I spent my teenage years in New York City. My parents divorced when I was 13 years old and we moved to the city from the suburbs. I lived with my mother. She worked two jobs for several years, as did my father, to help pay for my brothers’ college tuition. My mother hired a housekeeper, Beulah, to help out while she was working.

I spent a lot of time over those years with Beulah. She and I developed a friendship that lasted decades beyond her working for my mother. She was a remarkable person. She grew up on the Mississippi Delta in abject poverty. She lived in the South Bronx with... Read More

Helping our youth live healthier

Dr. Paul | October 11, 2019 |
 

A recent 2019 study, reported in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, reviewed a national survey of over 600,000 Americans. Their findings were concerning. The rate of major depression increased by 52% from 2005 to 2017 in teenagers and 63% from 2009 to 2013 for young adults. Serious psychological distress among young adults increased 71% from 2008 to 2017.

They also found that these increases were particularly high for those born in the early 1980’s (Millennials) and in the late 1990’s. They found a generational association with increases in depression, distress, and suicidal... Read More

Spending quality time with your children

Dr. Paul | September 25, 2019 |
 

When I was growing up, children were sometimes seen but not heard. I remember family camping trips, picnics, and long car rides. Those excursions were warm and loving, but I hardly remember any individual time with either one of my parents.

On Sunday mornings I would drive with my father to the bakery to pick up sweet rolls and fresh bread. Those were special times. On holidays, I remember helping my mother bake her famous apple pie. I loved the smell of baking apples in the warm kitchen.

As the youngest of three boys, I often stayed back with my mom while my older brothers... Read More

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